


Better Half of Me

by AndiMackmeetsHeathers



Category: Andi Mack (TV)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Romantic Fluff, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-27
Updated: 2019-10-27
Packaged: 2021-01-04 03:50:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21191090
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AndiMackmeetsHeathers/pseuds/AndiMackmeetsHeathers
Summary: When TJ and Cyrus end up going to separate universities, they're both heartbroken and decide it would be sweet to send each other late night love letters.Song fic based on Tom Walker's Better Half of Me.I'd have all I need, if you were standing right in front of me.Cyrus wiped his tears away. He couldn't deal with this relationship being long distance.TJ sighed, head in hands. What were they going to do?Will this permanent decision make them-or break them?





	Better Half of Me

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry I haven't uploaded in ages, I've been really busy recently. Enjoy! Don't forget to leave a comment if you like this!

Dear Cyrus,  
Thank you for the letter you sent me-I really appreciated it. I know doing this whole letter writing concept is more than a little bit weird to you, especially considering that we could just text and call each other more instead, but I think it's romantic and sweet the same way you do, and very endearing. It's nice. I love hearing from you as it always brightens up my day, no matter what. And don't worry about your handwriting or anything inconsequential such as that. It's perfect, just like you, my angel. 

You'll always be my number one; a whole lot more than good enough. I'm giving everything I've got to gain every second lost. Six years just isn't enough.

University over here in the big Apple is going...well, I guess. I honestly believe that I'm a city boy, you know? I love the hustle and bustle of a busy city at night- New York truly is the city that never sleeps. My history and politics course is really interesting, and I'm determined to become a political journalist, at this point. I hope you're proud of me for taking this terrifying leap of faith, Cyrus. I know that I am, for once. Proud of myself, that is. 

As for my basketball scholarship-the coach cornered me after practice. Told me I had a real talent and I could have a shot at making it, big time. Seriously. Isn't that exciting? Of course, I don't want to jeopardise my potential career as a political journalist, but I'd love to be a basketball player, too. Basketball has always been my number one passion, but obviously you know that already. 

The clubs and sororities are pretty cool here, I'm not going to lie; there's a lot on offer. For one, they have an environmentalist group (that regularly plant trees and go on strike and everything!)-Isn't that cool? They have a debating club, too, which I've always signed up for, and a plethora of sports clubs you'll undoubtedly be completely uninterested in. Oh, not to mention that I've applied for a place on the student newspaper, and I'm currently still waiting for them to get back to me. Imagine what that would be like, though? It will help my portfolio, which could definitely give my career that boost it needs!

Reed's here, too-as you know. He's liking it here, I think-although realistically, nobody expected him to get in to virtually anywhere, given how he acted and everything-not even you. Admit it. And you, Cyrus Goodman, have got to be the nicest person in the history of humanity. You're so humble, you'll most likely deny it, then blush-which, for the record, is adorable. God, I miss you. 

Anyway, before I so rudely interrupted myself, I was explaining about Reed. Unsurprisingly, he's become quite the party boy, drinking and smoking and probably doing goodness knows what else alongside that, if you catch my drift. Apparently, he frequently turns up late to class, if at all, due to his severe hang overs. I feel bad saying this, really guilty, but maybe he deserves it? I mean, it's not as though he's that nice of a person, to be fully honest with you-and I think you know that, too. I don't know how you can constantly see the best in people; personally, I could never do it. 

I guess that's one of the perks of being Cyrus Goodman, huh? Aside from being constantly awesome, of course, and lighting up my world by just being in it. 

Wow. When did I become so cheesy? This isn't me. You know that this isn't me. My sleep deprivation must be turning me insane.

It's maybe two in the morning, I don't know, and I've had a lot of coffee to drink. Caffeine really does keep a person up. I don't recommend it for you, though-and not just because you're in London, where they mostly drink tea, but because of your anxiety. You know how shaky and, frankly, insane coffee makes you (sorry, Underdog-somebody had to say it!). Please, for your own sanity, does as I say and not as I do. I'm serious, you know. Very much so. Look after yourself, alright? 

Got it? Good. So, I'm writing this kind of not very poetic love letter to you at half two in the morning at the kitchen table. My books are sprawled out in front of me; there's a lot of reading around the subject you have to do, Cyrus. Just be glad you took on a creative writing and psychology combined course instead of history and politics. It's a nightmare, at times, I'm telling you-but I'm loving it all the same.

There was a party on Saturday. And no, before you ask a random piece of paper with my love delicately weaved throughout it, I did not get drunk, because j knew better than that and I knew that you wouldn't want me to. Plus, it's not even legal at the moment, anyway. Unlucky you. Lucky thing. You can drink because of the legal drinking age in England, and the way it's eighteen. Shame you don't drink, then, isn't it? 

I'm just joking, as usual-you know me (better than anyone else ever could, at that). The party was awesome, I'm not gonna lie. There was beer pong, and people screaming all the best songs at the top of their lungs, and I might have got on top of a table and started singing along to ABBA's 'Dancing Queen' at the top of my lungs. I danced, too. A lot. I got to know people, which is always great fun, and I'll be real with you, here. I was flirted with. By multiple females, all of which I was contractually obliged to inform patiently that I was, in fact, not only gay but very much taken and in an amazing relationship. I hope they weren't too embarrassed when I rejected them. Oh, well. Who cares about them? 

I did start chatting with this guy in a horse costume, and another dressed up as Ronald McDonald (don't ask). Fortunately, they were actually really interesting and funny people, and needless to say, I'm had a lot of fun with them. Becca and Ash were really cool people, too. We spoke about where we were from, what we were taking, our plans for the future, etcetera. I hope you don't mind too much, but I told them about how we travelled Europe, Asia, Australia and New Zealand together and they were flabbergasted. 

Don't worry, though-I didn't tell them about the time you tripped over the floor and slam dunked into the pool at midnight when you mistook your own shadow (from the lamp post over the wall, was it) for a dangerous creature on our way back from the casino. That was truly fabulous, however. Iconic, darling. 

Also, they seemed to be pretty into environmental issues, which I digged. On Sunday morning, we had a meeting, just the five of us and their friend, Leo, about climate change and what effective techniques could be used to combat it, that sort of thing, as well as the climate strikes we're attending-it's going to be great! The six of us are friends, already.

Oh, speaking of which, I also tracked Jonah down at the party. He was his usual self-a super popular, confident social butterfly. I did catch him alone, eventually. He's settling in to his music course really well, actually-he's loving it and has already started producing songs aside from his work. That takes a lot of dedication and hard work, of course-and I told him as much. He's already made loads of new friends and he claims that he's kept in contact with you lot. I'll give him the benefit of the doubt and trust him on this one. 

Then, there's my roommates. I have three of them-Sophie, Zed and Maya. Between the four of us, we're highly unorganized and very messy-there's clutter everywhere. As I write, there's dirty plates stacked up in the dishwasher: your number one pet peeve. Ha! If only I could see your (beautiful) face right now. The look on it would be, without a doubt, priceless. 

The living room is really something else; it's just an explosion of clothes and random possessions, like all of my ABBA and Queen CDS, or all of Maya's Disney DVDS, or most of Zed's (extensive collection of) clothes. That's not even including all of Sophie's hair and beauty products-don't so much as begin to get me started on those. Seriously, don't.

As people, well, they're great. They're hilarious, especially Zed. You should meet them, some time. I think you'd love them. Maya is such a sweetheart, she's really the baby of the group and so wholesome and kind to everyone, and unbelievably bubbly; I don't know how she does it. She's made us cupcakes and friendship bracelets already. Then there's Sophie, who says the funniest things when she's drunk. Oh, and she loves drawing-she's an incredible artist, and she loves to party, but she also craves sleep, apparently. That leaves Zed, the social butterfly and the funniest in the group. Always looking stylish, really into reading but also smooth and great with people. He also has a nose ring and Sophie even has a tattoo. How cool is that? I wish you were here to see them all.

I'm sat here, hunched over on the kitchen table at three in the morning with an empty coffee mug cautiously laid out in front of me; you know what I'm like. I think it's the only thing keeping me awake, as I write, and I'm practically delirious from sleep deprivation. Still, I don't regret that; it's worth it to talk to you, Cyrus. 

But enough about me. More importantly, how are you? Is the London life what you expected? Have you met the Queen yet and do you think you ever will? Is Big Ben as tall as it looks on the television? Is the London eye as big as it looks? I mean, knowing you, I doubt you've been on it, but you never know until you ask, right? Do people drink loads of tea there and speak all posh and act dead polite all the time? I've heard they do, you see, and I'm not totally sure. 

As for the weather-do they always talk about it? Does it rain near enough constantly? And the people, what are they like to encounter? Have you been on the subway yet? What is it like? 

Sorry if I'm coming across as hyper, it's all this caffeine, darlingggg. 

Okay, I need to stop.

I don't know what happened there. Sorry again, I guess.

How are the people at the university? I hope that they're really friendly and kind to you-only hopefully not a little too kind, if you catch my drift...

Anyways, how are you settling in? Is your course what you expected it to be or not?

And, are you settled in to the city, and the country, as well as the university? Do you like the busy London life? Do you remember my impression of a 60's British politics officer? I'm guessing the police there aren't actually like that, right? 

Mostly, I just want you to be happy, Cyrus. That's all I've ever wanted for you. Just know that I'll always love you, the way you (hopefully) love me, too. 

I guess I'm just home sick, and you're home. I'm rambling by now, I know-oh, well. I hope you don't mind and that I'm not irritating you. That's the last thing I want to do. 

Anyway, I miss you so much and love you more than anyone else in this world, or the next, Cyrus Goodman, the better half of me. I need you like I need and to breathe. This letter thing will be tough, but hopefully we can stick at it. I can't wait to see your gorgeous face again some time soon. 

I'm forever yours.

Sincerely,  
Me

PS-that means TJ. 

PPS- I'm sure you already knew that. I think I'm just going crazy. 

PPPS-I'm really hyper right now, in case you couldn't tell, and I can't stop thinking about you. Please write back soon, Underdog. I love you to the moon and back.

Love,  
Teej  
Xoxo

Cyrus chuckled to himself as he read TJ's love letter. He found it really endearing, the way TJ sent him these beautiful handwritten letters. He had been the one to suggest this, of course, but it still made him feel warm inside.

TJ's absence was more glaring than the absence of anybody else-even, somehow, overpowering the absence of Buffy, Andi or Jonah.

Yes, London was incredible-but nothing without TJ in it, snatched away from his charisma and larger than life personality. 

It was late when Cyrus wrote back, too, about four in the morning, but more than worth saying up for. 

Dear TJ,  
I can't tell you how many times I've read and re-read that letter while smiling to myself and even chuckling, occasionally. I keep it in my pocket with me, wherever I go, so that you're with me constantly. At least, that's what I tell myself, anyway. Also, I might have cried several times while reading it. As well as me naturally being an emotional person, it appears that you just so happen to have that effect on me. I would be mad, but because I'm nice and I love you so much, I forgive you. 

All jokes aside, I've really missed you, too. That being said, however, university here is awesome. Like, seriously. It's so diverse and full of such awesome people. I can't even begin to explain it. Fortunately, I love my course, too. My professorsare great, really interesting, and one of them was too busy working on their story while walking out (at about our age, bear in mind) to notice Stephen King and they accidentally bumped in to them. I mean, Stephen King? Who doesn't notice him? He's legendary!

Moving on from that, I feel as though my choice of course was an excellent one, to be honest with you. I'm glad you're liking life in the big Apple. Have you seen the Empire State Building? Have you been to Central Park yet? We should go together, some time. 

I should certainly hope you haven't been getting drunk, mister! I know what you're like when you get in that state and it is not good. Seriously, take my word for it. Also, you know that you shouldn't really be drinking coffee, you dumbass.

Again, I'll let you off the hook-because you're my dumbass and you mean the world to me too, TJ. That being said, I might be a teensy little bit of a hypocrite myself. Yes, that's right-I am currently drinking coffee.

Let me set the scene: lights, camera, action! 

I guess we never saw this coming, halfway around the world, writing (I definitely didn't). I'm still up, it's four am. My thoughts are running wild right now and I just want you to know that I'd have all I need if you were standing right in front of me. I'll finally see what it means to be complete; don't need to spend our lives chasing gold. Anywhere with you, I'd call my home. I'd have all I need if you'd be the better half of me.

I'm just waiting for the day I finally get to say these words face to face. 

I'm surrounded by books and scripts; I'm practically collapsing under the mountain of them as I scrawl hastily at my rickety desk, staring up at the pictures of us I have clipped up and attached to a bright string of fairy lights-the most recent one from at the park together, the one from Buffy's eighteen birthday party where my hair was a mess, the one from my eighteenth birthday party (what a wild night that was), the one from high school graduation, the one at the beach in Aussie about three steps away from impending doom and death, the one of us at the top of the Eiffel tower, the one in front of the leaning tower of Pisa and even the one from the Indian festival of colour, all unforgettable experiences. 

I have more with my family and friends, but you're the face that stands out the most, TJ Kippen, and I have a feeling you always will be.

Ugh. Since when did I become so sappy?

Actually, I'm the sappy one out of us two. Never mind.

Anyway, to answer your questions: London is as busy as I expected and a lot more diverse and intruiging than I thought it would be. Obviously I haven't met the Queen, no. Big Ben is tall, as is the London eye-but you're completely right. I haven't been on it. The people over here are friendly, definitely, and can be not polite than Americans, but not overly so and tend to be more introverted than us. I've never been involved with the British police, but they are a lot different the the ones from the 1950's or 1960's or whenever. Yes, the weather is awful over here, very rainy and windy on a regular basis-no wonder they discuss the weather so often. The people are alright, Interesting enough and they can be nice, but not what they're made out to be like. I've never been on the subway and, for hygiene reasons, I never will, Teej.

I suppose you'll be wondering about my friends and my roommates. I have five, as opposed to your three, and, like yours, they're all great people (your roommates sound amazing, by the way; I would love to meet them some time)-except for one. Xander is super chill and he loves skateboarding and gaming. He could beat anyone at Mario Kart and he likes history, like you do. Sam is a musical theatre nerd, into vines and loves acting. He's fabulous. Casey is into alternative music, and she's a drummer. Acts like she doesn't care, but she does, really. You can tell. Alana is a total badass; she could break your arm in the matter of seconds, and she's trained in all forms of martial arts. She's into languages and stuff. 

Then, there's Jared. He's just...ugh. Politically, he's a Tory-if you learn much about English politics, you'll know that's almost as bad as being a republican. Republicans are much worse, but it sitll sucks. He's also a mean person, in general, and a bit of an asshole, if you ask me. He's racist towards Sam and Alana, sometimes, and sexist to both Alana and Casey. Without Alana hurting him so much, he'd continue. I think he's also homophobic, which is a massive concern of mine for obvious reasons. He's also lazy and barely turns up to his class. He studies English, I think, but you rarely see him reading, funnily enough. 

I've made a few other friends at Fresher's gatherings and parties. Yasmeen is sweet and shy to some, confident around others. She likes poetry and art. She's lovely to everyone and has really interesting opinions; she's in my creative writing class. One time, she was so drunk she jumped off a table, claiming to be superman. Kurt is one of those deep thinkers; he's taking philosophy. He likes yoga and gets involved with political issues, but is very liberal, so he hates Jared almost as much as I do. We're already planning multiple political protests associated with Brexit. Ethan is a living meme; once I saw him zooming across the quad on a scooter, wearing a cat onesie, a clown wig and clown make up. (he has massive Marty energy) Another time, he turned up to psychology at seven and poured a can of red bull in to his coffee, proclaiming loudly that he was going to die, and thus proceeded to chug it all down in one go. It was definitely one of the funniest memories I have with my friends.

Look. I'll address the elephant in the room. I'll admit that, like you have, I have been flirted with. It's mostly been males-maybe five of them, or so-and one or two girls. Even one non-binary person. I pushed through my guilt and explained to them calmly and patiently that I have the bet boyfriend in the world (which I do, obviously-have you met yourself?).

I can imagine you getting into heated debates and discussions, openly flaunting your opinions-but just be careful. You know what peole are like, after all. As for basketball-well, I have no doubt that you're incredible in there, and always have extra knowledge to add in history. How can one person possibly be so intelligent and athletic? It's impossible. Still, you have the coordination for the both of us, my sunshine. 

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine-

Sorry. I got a bit off track there, thinking about how much you mean to me and how gorgeous and perfect you are in general. I must be the luckiest guy alive to have you as my boyfriend. Genuinely. I miss you more than I believe is possible to articulate in words., and even then, that's no match for my love for you.

You'll be pleased to know that Buffy and Andi are both doing well; Andi is loving her photography course in California; apparetly she's 'found her calling', so I'm really happy for her. Buffy seems to be doing well with sports science, which is good to hear. They were both exhausted when I skyped them, so not too talkative, as you can imagine. I spoke to Jonah myself and a girl called him away after a few minutes, so you were certainly right about him being popular. I just want them all to succeed. I want YOU to succeed, but please don't lose too much sleep over me, please. You'll perform better-with a sufficient amount of sleep, you know. 

I walked in to a glass door the other day, when I was visiting the history museum. Typical me. You would love it there-it's got all sorts there, including dinosaurs (which you know I love). It also has the history if the British empire, and I know how much it intrigues you. How could a tiny island rule a third of the world, once? It's insane.

I'm tired and I'm looking out of my window. It's raining, which depicts my current feelings perfectly. I'm so sad without you, TJ. I hope we can meet up soon and I can see your radiant smile and your gleaming eyes and hear your angelic laughter and beautiful voice once again, to be able to hug you and kiss you and tell you that I love you.

Writing letters might be a completely new thing, but we can make it work. I know we can, we just need to keep going. 

I love you and miss you more than anything. 

Forever yours,  
Underdog 

PS-it's Cyrus  
PPS-you already know that.  
PPPS-I need to see you soon. I don't know what I'd do without you, mon amor. Love you to the moon and back.

With tear-filled eyes, TJ folded Cyrus' precious letter into his pocket. He'd read it four times now; this was the first time he'd read the letter without the page going blurry. Life was just so difficult without Cyrus in it.

He reminisced about the dates they'd been on: at the park, the Spoon, the cinema....

They'd hold hands and Cyrus would look the happiest TJ had ever seen him; his eyes would light up and his grin was massive. He'd start babbling excitedly about a film, or a book, or a random fact he'd just learned, and TJ would listen with keen interest, drowning in Cyrus' gorgeous chocolate coloured eyes.

"Oi, Teej! You coming?" 

Tearfully, TJ hastily folded up Cyrus' letter, shoving it into his pocket in his haste, despite the precious nature of the letter.

He stood up and wiped his tears away with the sleeve of his hoodie. 

"Yeah, yeah. I'm coming now."

"Not in that hoodie, you're not. Hurry up, Teej." Zed urged, tugging at TJ's hand urgently and pouting in a way most would call adorable.

"But then I won't have any room for my letter!" TJ protested, slightly irritated at his roommate. 

Zed simply rolled his eyes and shrugged. You could tell that he'd had a drink or two already judging by the glassy look in his eyes.

"Who cares?" 

"I care!" TJ insisted stubbornly, on the verge of tears now. "He's my freaking boyfriend, Zed!" 

"Forget about him." Zed whispered into TJ's ear as his hoodie hit the floor. 

TJ shuddered and moved away from Zed, thinking of Cyrus guiltily. 

Someone who he didn't recognise shoveda bottle of alcohol in his face, attempting to tempt him. He shook his head. 

"We're not legal yet." TJ sighed, of more rational mind than both people combined. "And, besides. I've been here for nearly a month now. I'm not about that life. I'm not too keen on parties or alcohol You should know that, Zed." 

"Not about that life, huh?" Zed's friend challenged, hands on hips, raising a perfect eyebrow at TJ before shooting Zed a certain look. 

Zed scoffed and rolled his eyes, before running his tongue along by a top teeth in a manner be believed to be flirtatious.

It's not working, TJ thought to himself. So you can just stop it, right now. I'm on a dedicated reltionsjo and I'm so in love with Cyrus Goodman that words can't even describe it. He fills me with joy and has created an entire world of beauty and awe, just for the two of us. He's my always and forever, my one and only Underdog and always the only person I can talk to like this. You have absolutely no idea how close we are, in heart, mind and soul, if not in distance.

So if you ever think I'm going to cheat, think again.

Zed, of course, wouldn't have considered any of this even if TJ had articulated these thoughts aloud, which he did not. He bit his tongue, sighing, and slumped onto the nearest kitchen stool resignedly, waiting for Zed to speak. 

Needless to say, Zed didn't give him long to wait.

He leaned forward, licking his lips and raising his eyebrows. The light of the moon, the stars and the lights outside had illuminated Zed's face, TJ observed as a starts strand of hair flopped down over Zed's forehead. 

"Okay. I get it. It's not really your thing." Zed smirked. "Well, it could be your thing. You never really know unless you try." 

With that being said, he winked at TJ, who tried his best to stifle a gasp, squeezing his eyes shut as a sudden flashback hit him like a bolt of lightning.

TJ had invited Cyrus to hang out with his friends, on a warm and sunny Saturday in September. He'd missed Cyrus sorely after his crush had been to London, and was touched when Cyrus pressed a souvenir into his hand upon his return home, saying something or other in his awful British accent.

They'd hung out at TJ's locker a lot, though, which surprised TJ-surely Cyrus preferred the company of Buffy and Andi, right? Occasionally, TJ even wondered if he had a chance with Cyrus-a futile endeavour, though, in his eyes. This was, of course, before he was aware of Cyrus' feelings for him.

Anyway, he'd told Cyrus that he talked about him, willing him to stop being so oblivious already and take a hint, but that didn't appear to be the case. Cyrus had seemed excited to hang out with him, though, which elated TJ in return.

On the day, Cyrus, bless him, had brought a regular bike with him and not a motorbike. That was funny. TJ thought it was funny. Reed has called him funny because TJ hadcalled him funny. After all, Cyrus was funny.

What happened next wasn't funny. 

In hindsight, what kind of best friend flirted with your crus? Like, seriously? 

The creepiest thing about this whole flashback, nd what had triggered it, was that Zed and Reed's dialogue was the exact same when flirting with TJ and Cyrus respectively. The exact same words, in the exact same order. 

"Okay. I get it. It's not really your thing." Reed had smirked. "Well, it could be your thing. You never really know unless you try." 

Cyrus, oblivious as ever, had just let this happen. But it was alright, because he had turned to TJ for reassurance. TJ had raised his eyebrows in what he hoped was a flirty manner. 

Yeah, that particular hang out hadn't ended so well, had it? 

In fact, it's what drove the two boys apart (albeit temporarily). 

TJ didn't want that to happen again-so why was Zed tempting him so....irresistible? 

Yes, Zed was popular, and attractive, perhaps. But he was certainly no Cyrus Goodman.

You good, Teej?" Zed questioned, tapping him on the shoulder and bringing him crashing back down to reality all of a sudden. 

Eyes blazing, TJ glowered at him. Nobody could call him that. Only Cyrus. 

"Don't. Call. Me. Teej." He snapped. "Seriously, don't." 

Zed's friend backed away, which consequently caused Zed to scowl at TJ for humiliating him. His perfect eyebrows were knitted together and his dark eyes began clouding over with frustration-or anger, perhaps. TJ couldn't really tell which.

"Why not?" Zed challenged, the muscles in his jaw tensing. 

That nickname reminds me of Cyrus, TJ thought. You couldn't be more different from Cyrus if you tried. He's different to what you expect-he's much better.

Cyrus helped me out, at the swings and made me feel accepted. You're just using me for your own purposes. You're popular-go find another toy to play with. 

TJ opened his mouth to respond when Zed ushered him out of their place. 

"Come on, dude. It'll be fun!" Zed's friend promised. TJ sighed, squeezing his eyes shut, and hoped that would ring true. 

He should have trusted his instincts and gut feelings while he still had the chance to.

**Author's Note:**

> If you enjoyed this, please comment as all feedback is appreciated! 
> 
> Thanks and have a nice day! (:


End file.
